Social Expectations

There has been a lot of discussion recently on social media regarding the Yellow Ribbon campaign for DINOS.  This stands for Dogs In Need Of Space.  If you hadn't heard of this, then you have now.  Basically, if you see a dog with a yellow ribbon on its lead, collar, coat, etc, then the request is please to give that dog a bit more space than you might normally do.  They may be fearful of other dogs, elderly, ill, fear aggressive, over protective - any number of things.  But the ribbon asks you to get your own dogs under control and not allow them to harass the oncoming dog. 

I really don't have a problem with that - at all!  There is the small problem that you might not see the yellow ribbon until you are very close.  But what is really bothering me is a nagging concern as to how my dogs behave and how they (and me) are perceived by other owners!  Having read and listened to various people who have fearful or nervous dogs I have questioned my own attitudes and responsibilities as well as the behaviour of my dogs. 

I have nearly always been lucky enough to live in places that have given me space and freedom to allow me and my dogs to run free.  None of the dogs I have had have been urban in any way whatsoever.  Now, very rural people need a few different life skills to people who live in the city and vice versa.  Also some behaviours are acceptable in one environment but not the other - for instance, you don't duck behind a bush in the middle of town to have a wee!

Manners, however, should be universal - as people, we should all be able to say hello politely, and to behave in a manner that is not offensive to others.  Once we know another person, then we may be able to change our behaviour in a way that is acceptable to both parties.  So what about dogs?  Yes, I think their manners should be universal too - though obviously canine manners are a bit different to human ones and it is up to us as owners to enable our dogs to learn these manners through socialisation and training.  But everybody's idea of what constitutes good manners is different.  Things that I wouldn't dream of doing or saying to somebody (not intentionally anyway) seem to be completely acceptable to others.  And things that I might be sensitive to in other people's words and actions slide like water off a duck's back on other people.  Those differences can and do spill over into the the manners and behaviour of our dogs.

And then there is the ability to communicate with others - some folks find it hard enough to communicate with others of their own species, let alone another!  And as dog owners, we really do need to be able to understand the canine language sufficiently to enable beneficial socialising and training as well as interpret what is going on.  We don't need to be able to sit down and have a detailed conversation with a dog or understand their every "word" but I guess we need to understand the basics to enable us to get by.

So, having given this some thought, what are my conclusions about my dogs?  Well, I think they are doing mostly okay, but I do need to up my game a bit. 

River is still very much a puppy - she sees all other dogs as playmates, other than Talulah who is there for her to beat up.....  However, she does approach other dogs more quickly than I would like, although she doesn't go right up to them and shove her nose up their butt.  She goes within a few metres, wagging her tail, ears up and alert, and a smile on her face.  Any sign of invitation and she is in play bow mode and then they can have fun fun fun.  She hasn't yet met a dog that has been nasty - very fortunate for me and her, and so I hope she takes this wonderful playfulness into adulthood.



This 5 month collie had a nasty experience the day before this photo when  black lab was rather "un-nice" to him.  When he saw my three big black dogs, he was very unsure.  I put two back in the car, but kept River out as I knew she would play!

And off we go!

Hopefully leaving with a better memory.

Tussock was extremely well socialised as a pup - living in a hotel, it was essential.  I love to watch her body language.  She will go down to the ground for a few moments whilst she watches another dog from a distance before moving slowly towards them.  She doesn't often play with another dog, but does like to say hello.  She does not, however, tolerate bad manners in another dog, and these bad manners are not always apparent to the owners.  She doesn't appreciate noses up her bum, or too close a contact with too forward a stance - she will politely tell them to back off.  If they persist, then the politeness gradually gives way to a firmer voice and more defensive behaviour without making contact - she can and does make lots of noise!  If another dog appears nervous she will look away and move away - she doesn't push the issue.  One behaviour that does puzzle me, however, is that she doesn't like it when other dogs insist on running around especially before meet and greet has been concluded - she will try to rein them in, and if they don't comply, then she will roll them, flatten them, and give them a shouting - lots of noise, lots of teeth showing, but never, ever, any harm done.  Now, I know she is not hurting them - but other owners see big black dog on top of their dog and think that my dog is the aggressive one.  She isn't aggressive - but I do need to learn more of what is going on here.



Meeting dogs they know, but still Tussock is still slow to approach.

Now, Talulah is my "problem" dog.  Somehow she has fallen through my net.  Perhaps because she was not bought as "my" dog, perhaps because I didn't want to interfere with her early training as she was not "my" dog, perhaps an element of "oh she is a flat coated retriever - they are always friendly" - I don't know.  I do feel as though I have failed her somewhat though. 

I have been so busy watching Tussock's behaviour, that I haven't really noticed Talulah's development - especially since River arrived on the scene.  This is the key part of this.  Prior to River, Talulah was indeed friendly and playful, but, this has gradually and subtly changed.  She is the one I need to watch as she is very protective of River and is likely to rush up to another dog and say "Just watch it you, don't hurt my baby, or I will have you"  then runs away again.  And because Tussock hears this tone of voice, she then goes on alert which is why I watch her.  But the "trouble maker" is Talulah, and, coupled with an alarmingly rubbish recall, she is something of a time bomb.

 

So, now it's a case of leaving complacency at home and taking lots of treats with me and doing some on the hoof revision! 

Like I said to begin with, there has been lots of discussion about this, many trainers are talking about it.  I have read lots of stuff but not "read" it.  Finally one article really made me sit up and think.  Having read so much about this dog, I rather feel I have got to know her a bit.  I have never met her and probably never will, but all the stuff I have previously read suddenly meant a bit more and I suddenly questioned which category of owner I fitted into.

Self examination like this is always a good thing - providing we act on what we find......