Sunday 24 December 2017

Santa's Little Helpers

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse

But the hovies are a-waiting
For midnight to strike
So they can go out
For a wonderful hike

Seems Santa is poorly
And just cannot cope;
And this band of brave doggies
Is his best and last hope

Lead dog is Riversong
A proud girl indeed
A perfect combination
Of power and speed

Her co-pilot is Skara
Her coat full of sheen
Her energy is endless
She’s youthful and keen

The rear guard is Tussock
An experienced old girl
Quite happy to go for
A clandestine whirl
 
Also in attendance
Is Talulah the flattie
Full of enthusiasm
But ever so scatty

And driving the sleigh on this
Night of all nights
Is pack leader Jan with the
Stars in her sights

But we need to get dressed
So we look the part
And that means some costumes
Before we can start

We need some tree branches
To go round the face
And plenty of sticky tape
To hold it in place

We then need a red nose
To show us the way
And glitter and tinsel
To put on the sleigh

Sadly this is where
We meet disarray
Dressing up hovies?
To hitch to a sleigh?

River is wanting to go right away
No way does she wish to stand still
She huffs and puffs as I put on her traces
Hurrying me with the strength of her will

And Skara’s decided the costumes are naff
And no longer wants to dress up
She wriggles and shuffles and rolls on the ground
And causes a major hold-up

Talulah is also so keen to move on
But like river she fidgets and jumps
Her vertical take-offs are something to see
But her energy’s escaping as trumps

Tussock is bored with the whole silly farce
And insists on going to sleep
I have to persuade her to shift off her butt
And the stress is making me weep

I take a step back and I look at the mess
And at what is attached to each hound
The branches are broken and chewed up in bits
And the parcel tape stuck to the ground

The traces are wrapped around both of my legs
And my arms are attached to my head
The thought of flying the skies just right now
Fills me with a deep sense of dread

I manage to wriggle a hand from the mess
And find a bottle of whisky
I glug a bit down and then with a frown
Realise driving is going to be risky

But suddenly a shout goes up through the night
And a streak shoots over the skies
Perhaps Santa is better and can do his own job
Or the elves have launched a surprise

But no! The colours are wrong and the reindeer too small
There’s a hint of some black and some white
The organised collies have seen our disorder
And now are the stars of the night!


Merry Christmas Everyone!