Saturday 28 November 2015

Farts and Thunderclaps

It all started promisingly.  A nice hot bath with a book to warm and relax me and to divert my mind from its usual paths.  Then a small glass of wine in bed to finish the job.  With all the dogs sleeping contentedly, I put the light out at 10.30 and went quickly to sleep.

I woke to a noise of house shaking volume, followed by another, and another, and realised I had woken myself up sneezing.  The sneezes were followed by a fart of equal volume - and then I wondered which had actually woken me.  Looking at the clock I realised it was only half past midnight - and I was wide awake.  After a few more blasts of wind from both ends I also realised I was hungry. 

I trotted off downstairs, and as I passed Skara's bed at the end of my bed, she gave me a look that could only be interpreted as "For goodness sake, mum, go to sleep!!"  I put the kettle on, and made myself something to eat and went back upstairs.  Drink drunk, food eaten, light out again, I settled down to go back to sleep.  

However, whilst my nose had settled down, my midnight snack seemed to have added fuel to the gale going on within ensuring a plentiful supply of wind to make me giggle and stop me from sleeping.  I was now fully awake, with mind in thinking mode.

Once again, I went downstairs, this time to pick up the laptop.  It was 1.30.  I visited Facebook - not much happening there - then went to You Tube and found something to amuse me.  At 2.15 I put the light out again.

No joy.  I needed a wee.  Back downstairs again to the loo.  But that didn't help.  Time for something stronger.  No - not what you think - I have to drive in the morning.  This time I made a glass of hot water with lavender honey, and once again sat up in bed to drink it whilst looking at the computer.

Once finished, I went to the loo again - might as well, I thought, or I will only want to go in an hour or two.  Skara and River decided they wanted to go out too.  I was only too happy to oblige if it enabled Skara to sleep beyond 7am.  They came back in and shot up the stairs before me, and this was when I realised it was pouring down outside.  The dogs were a bit wet - and someone was on my bit of bed.  Thanks Skara, now I have a wet bed.

A strategically placed t-shirt, we were ready to settle down and once again we put the light out - this time it was 3.30.  Talulah was laid by my head, breathing gently.  Tussock was on the right hand side of the bed, snoring gently.  River on one bed on the floor, and Skara on the other one.  Sigh.  Domestic bliss.  I felt myself drifting.....

A blinding flash of light!  Was it in my head?  Or was it lightening? A few moments later, the answer came - a thunderclap which rattled the roof tiles.  Or did the man upstairs have a touch of wind, too?

The hailstorm which followed was of such biblical proportions, I decided God couldn't sleep either.

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